Swallowed my pride or perhaps false pride and went to the Department of Health and Welfare for food stamps. I got tired of my son asking why don't we have any snacks or anything to eat other than noodles. Every time he says mom, I'm hungry (which is every other minute) I'd have a panic attack.
When you get food stamps you have to attend this job seeking class (as if I don't already send out 20 resumes a day) so I attended the orientation yesterday. I was assigned a "case manager" whom I have to meet with on a weekly basis. And I have to turn in a time sheet listing 5 hours I've spent job searching with the contact name, address, and phone #. I don't mind that because it is all things I'm already doing, but I have to admit it hurts my pride to depend on handouts but my son has to eat...I'm done growing so if I don't eat it doesn't matter but he HAS to eat!
On a brighter note, I've started attending the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses again. I finally realize the "empty" feeling and my questioning if "this" my life is all there is to life was because I've lost my faith and trust in mankind. Which brings me to I should have placed my faith and trust in Jehovah anyway and not in "man." I'm going to start studying the bible again and I'm trying to give up smoking. I no longer am dating, which was a scary thing for me to give up because of my "aloneness" in ID.
As I sat in class towards the end a guy came in with this backpack...and for a moment I realized how "fortunate" my son, 2 dogs, and I are. We may need help with food but at least we still have a roof over our heads!