9/24/09

Edm #29 Anything

Swallowed my pride or perhaps false pride and went to the Department of Health and Welfare for food stamps. I got tired of my son asking why don't we have any snacks or anything to eat other than noodles. Every time he says mom, I'm hungry (which is every other minute) I'd have a panic attack.

When you get food stamps you have to attend this job seeking class (as if I don't already send out 20 resumes a day) so I attended the orientation yesterday. I was assigned a "case manager" whom I have to meet with on a weekly basis. And I have to turn in a time sheet listing 5 hours I've spent job searching with the contact name, address, and phone #. I don't mind that because it is all things I'm already doing, but I have to admit it hurts my pride to depend on handouts but my son has to eat...I'm done growing so if I don't eat it doesn't matter but he HAS to eat!

On a brighter note, I've started attending the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses again. I finally realize the "empty" feeling and my questioning if "this" my life is all there is to life was because I've lost my faith and trust in mankind. Which brings me to I should have placed my faith and trust in Jehovah anyway and not in "man." I'm going to start studying the bible again and I'm trying to give up smoking. I no longer am dating, which was a scary thing for me to give up because of my "aloneness" in ID.

As I sat in class towards the end a guy came in with this backpack...and for a moment I realized how "fortunate" my son, 2 dogs, and I are. We may need help with food but at least we still have a roof over our heads!

14 comments:

Spinneretta said...

Well I am glad you swallowed your pride and went for something needed :)
Hopefully you will also manage to find a job in the meantime!

raena said...

My prayers are with you Leona! Goodness knows, I would have been laid off by now and I KNOW the economy/job market is terrible there right now. It is actually why we left! I am married, but we too were lonely because we had no family around.

nanke's stuff said...

Please don't look at the food stamps as a handout. When you were working you paid taxes that paid for that food! You'll be working again, and when you are, you'll be paying for that food again. You worked for it and you're entitled to it. I live in Michigan, and we have many, many people using food stamps. Good for you for signing up for them! Your drawing of the backpack is very nicely done. Keep drawing .... you're going to be fine. hugs, nancy

bettyfromtexas said...

Good for you, Leona!! Those food stamps are your right . . . you earned them, and now that you need them, it's wonderful that they are available!! I know that better times are just around the corner!!

Alex said...

I am sorry that things are not going your way yet, but I am sure things will eventually get better for you. You have my prayers(I am a buddhist so I don't pray to a God because I don't really have one), and my wishes. All the best and good luck in whatever that you're pursuing.

Gary said...

I totally agree with the above statements concerning food stamps - you are doing the right things, addressing your son's needs and seeking guidance. I have found in my past when things were really tough going that drawing was one thing that I did - I guess by making them visual was a way of coming to some kind of terms with it, or a way of beginning to understand it. Sometimes I will look back at the drawings of that time and I am happy I recorded it (other times I can't even look at them) - but it is important to do it (certainly can be anyway).

Revelle said...

Best thing you can do is volunteer at a homeless shelter and see how bad some people have it, to boost your spirits and make you feel better. Things will turn around eventually for you, but some of these people have mental problems and things may never turn around for them. Being grateful is very uplifting. Keep a journal and write in it every day of what you are grateful for. A wonderful breeze that felt so good, a squirrel you saw chattering away in a tree, your beautiful son, you eyesight, it can be anything. Maybe even make a drawing on each page of one of the things you are grateful for! I'll keep you in my prayers!

Alyice said...

Hun, when you worked, you paid into the system for emergencies just like these. Economy is rough. Do what you have to and don't feel bad about it.

When my husband was laid off, two summers ago, the economy was just hitting. My income alone wasn't enough to sustain us. We were $100 over the limit for assistance from gov. and had to rely on the local food bank. Talk about swallowing your pride! I grew up in the projects and swore I'd never be in that situation again--having to rely on others for food and such.

A few months later my husband had a job and my business began going down hill.

I soon learned that others were suffering and as the economy grew, and my business tanked, I discovered a new source of strength I never knew I had.

We pay into government programs like this for a reason. Why not use it, right?

freebird said...

I read a book on poverty and it says MOST people in the U.S. will have a period of time in which they fall below the poverty level. You are experiencing it now but you are in a large group of people. I am sooo glad you swallowed your pride and got the food stamps. My sister turned a basket of food she received from her church many years ago BACK to them saying someone needed it more. I can assure you that wasn't true - her 5 kids were very hungry. If you want to fill your son up and keep him satisfied make some bean and grain meals like vegetarian red beans and rice (I have a good recipe for that and no meat to buy), chili on corn meal mush which is really yummy, or a vegetable curry on rice. Fried rice is also a good cheap filling dish. I know as I eat them all!

Good luck on finding a job. I'll put you on my prayer wall.

marancat said...

I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time - I do hope that things will improve very quickly. I won't repeat what has been said above but I agree with it all! Heartfelt wishes to you and your son.

Anonymous said...

hi leona, hope you remember me! i remember you, and i know you have hung in there for a loooong time! everything will pay off, just keep a positive vibe going...been through enough stuff myself to know, sending a positive vibe your way, so get ready to catch it! mociehocie http://www.flickr.com/photos/mociehocie/

Renee said...

I am so sorry that you have fallen on hard times.

Please don't feel ashamed, that is a wasted emotion. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Things will get better.

You are a fantastic artist.

Renee xoxo

Dan Kent said...

Getting assistance is no crime. If you were making a fortune off of people through dishonest means - that would be a crime. Better to be the fine person that you are, caring about your son above all. I like the colors and shapes in your watercolor very much. :)

vintage moon studio said...

Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving such a kind comment.
I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult period but we ALL need help in one form or another at some points in our lives! You have a wonderful blog and great watercolors... the trees are so well done - keep with it! Deb